Final blog - happy birthday Dad!

Friday 21^st February 2014 (the day after the gold medal game) would have been my Dad’s 61^st birthday if he was still with us. 

People always tell you that when someone close to you dies that you will miss them most on birthdays, Christmases and other special occasions.  For me I have certainly missed him on those occasions but in reality I probably miss him more at other moments.  Moments when I know I would have turned to him for advice or support or moments when the world catches up with me and I realise he is not with us anymore.

The day after the gold medal game would have been one of those moments without a shadow of doubt.  I would have loved to talk to him about the game, to relive the excitement of it all and to hear his thoughts and see his reactions.  So it was an emotional day not to have him around and knowing that it would have been his birthday too probably made it even more so. 

Coming into the Olympics I knew I would be out here for his birthday and I wasn’t quite sure how I would feel about that.  My sister sent me a picture of his grave with flowers she had put by it for us both and this made me sad and happy at the same time.  It was nice to feel close to her and to him yesterday even though I was still living the Olympic dream. 

On days when I miss him and don’t know whether to feel happy or sad it is always best to keep busy.  Luckily for me it was my last day at the Olympics so there was a lot to see and do before the long journey home.

Early morning team photo

My last moment on Olympic ice

Friday morning we travelled to the Bolshoy ice dome as a full group of male and female officials for a team photo.  Whilst the 7am wake-up the night after the gold medal game was not ideal, it did give us all an opportunity to skate together with our friends and colleagues for the last time on Olympic ice.  After the official photo we all took a moment to look around us and fully appreciate where we have been for the last few weeks.  We have been at the Olympics refereeing the best hockey in the world and that is pretty awesome.

Watching the men’s semi-finals

The day held two very exciting games on the men’s tournament: the semi-final between Finland and Sweden; and the semi-final between Canada and USA.  Scott and Cat were very excited about the opportunity to watch both games and to see first-hand the best players in the world.  We were lucky enough to be able to get them tickets to watch the games so we could all marvel at the skill and ability of all the players.

Watching the men’s curling final

In-between the two semi-finals we were lucky enough to get offered tickets to the men’s gold medal curling match between GB and Canada.  I was excited by the opportunity to cheer on GB and it was nice to sit in the curling venue surrounded by other Brits as they sang and cheered loudly for our team.  Unfortunately the Canadian team were too strong for us and team GB conceded at the end of the 8^th end meaning we walked away with the silver medal.  This is a huge achievement for the curling team and contributes to the GB medal tally of 4.  This quadruples our medal tally in Vancouver and makes the Sochi 2014 Olympics the most successful Winter Olympics for team GB ever. 

What an honour and privilege for me to have been a part of it.

Meeting Matthew Pinsent

With Matthew Pinsent at the Curling final

No blog is complete without a celebrity spotting and certainly my work colleagues would lose all respect for me if I did not mention that whilst at the curling venue I met Matthew Pinsent and finally got a chance to thank him personally for tweeting messages of luck to me.  I was with one of the USA supervisors and had to explain to her who he was which I was outraged at.  However once she appreciated just how awesome he is she was only too happy to take my picture with him.

What Dad would have said?

Overall Friday wasn’t as bad as I had expected in terms of missing Dad.  I spent the day with Cat and Scott soaking up my last few minutes of the Olympics which if I am going to be anywhere without Dad on his birthday then I think it is a pretty cool place to be and he would have approved.

People tell you that when you miss someone you should try to think about what they would have said and what they would have done at that moment in time.  Well I know whatever he would have said and done that he would have been so very proud of my achievements. 

When I got back from Vancouver he made me relive every moment with him and as I talked him through practically everything I got slightly irritated because a lot of his questions were about things I had written in my blog.  I remember thinking that he hadn’t even read the blog and getting quite annoyed with him.  It wasn’t until last year when my sister and I were clearing his house that I found a folder with a picture of us officiating together on the front.  Inside the folder was each blog I had written in Vancouver, printed, individually placed in a plastic wallet, and filed in order.  It turns out he had read it after all and I guess he just wanted to chat about it all with me and share the excitement in person.

I have written this blog knowing that he wouldn’t be able to read it but I know that he was there with me living the dream.  I also know that so many of you have been reading it because of all the messages, emails and calls of encouragement and support which have helped me more than any of you will know.  Scott’s Dad has been my number 1 supporter and is now an expert on the women’s game.  I’m sure if you told him a few years ago that he would be cheering for the referee and looking at the statistics for women’s hockey he wouldn’t have believed it.  But after every game the analysis with him has been fantastic and I feel very lucky to be a part of the Johnston family.

I have really enjoyed sharing my experiences through this blog with you all and I hope it has given you an insight into what it is like to be at an Olympics and the emotional rollercoaster it can be. 

Today I make the long journey home.  We fly to Zurich as a team of officials and stay one night there before all flying our separate ways on Sunday.  The plane is full. We have so many bags that the back six rows of seats have bags strapped in and piled up as there is no room down below. 

With my good friends Lish and Laura

I expect when we say our goodbyes in Zurich there will be tears.  It has been a tough few weeks for us all physically and emotionally and in a weird way we have become like a family together.  Each and every one of us brings something to the group.  Some days we irritate each other, some days we laugh at each other and some days we cry for each other.  For some of us we know this is the last tournament we will see each other at and whereas goodbyes at previous tournaments have always been with the caveat that we will see each other at the next tournament, this one we say goodbye not knowing when we may see each other again.  I say when because the friendships are so strong that I know we will keep in touch and see each other again but it will be away from a tournament and as friends.

By Monday most of us will be back at work and I expect trying to adjust to normal life after the incredible experience we have all shared.  It may take days, weeks, months or years for some of us to realise just how awesome the experience was and what we have really achieved by being here.

I fly home with my head held high and proud of what I have achieved for myself and all of you who have believed in me.  Looking forward to seeing you all soon.