The road to Sochi

With a little over a week to go before I fly out I am starting to reflect on the journey I’ve been on over the last few years.  Being selected to officiate at my third Olympics is a huge honour and a real dream come true, but it hasn’t been an easy few years and perhaps that is why it means so much to me to have been selected.

My friends and people who find out I am going to Sochi ask me if I am excited and if I am nervous.  The answer is yes to both and the reality is that despite this being my third Olympics I am probably more nervous and more excited than before. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Torino 2006

  

In 2006 I was relatively new to international officiating and extremely young to be selected for an Olympics.  There were no expectations for me and I was there for the ride and the experience.  I went along, refereed the games and was almost too young to fully appreciate the significance of what I was doing.  I officiated the historic semi-final between Sweden and USA which saw Sweden progress to the final with the USA left to compete for the bronze medal.  The only time in women’s hockey history that USA have not been in a final.  I ended up refereeing the bronze medal game which I knew was a huge achievement for my first Olympics but maybe I still didn’t believe I had actually done it or that I deserved to be there.

 

Vancouver 2010

In 2010 I had more experience under my belt and the women’s international officiating scene had become stronger and better.  I had watched as the competition amongst female officials had become stronger and I started to appreciate the challenge of being selected and staying at the top of my game.  I was excited to be selected and started to understand the real magnitude of what I was involved in.  Being in Canada and the home of hockey made it a special games and I was able to reflect on what an honour it was to be there.  I made time to really enjoy and cherish the moments when I was there and I started to appreciate what it meant.  But I still perhaps didn’t believe I was there or a part of it or that I deserved to be there.

 

Losing Dad

The real constant for me throughout my Olympic experiences had been the support, belief and encouragement from my Dad.  In 2011 as most people know Dad suddenly and unexpectedly passed away.  This obviously had a huge effect on me and for a long time I wasn’t sure I wanted to officiate or be involved in hockey anymore without him.  It is a tough job and you can never please everyone.  I’d always talk to my Dad about my games.  We would talk through difficult situations and analyse what the right call was.  Throughout everything he always believed in me and until I lost him I didn’t realise that I probably didn’t really believe in myself as much as I should have done and I needed him to keep me going. 

I tried to get back onto the ice as soon as the season started but fate stepped in and I took a puck to the ear which meant I had to have surgery and take 8 weeks off the ice.  Emotionally I probably wasn’t ready to be back refereeing so soon after losing Dad and so the time away did me good but I also lost all motivation to train at the gym and eat well.

 

 

2012 Women’s World Championships

In April 2012 I went to the Women’s World Championships in Burlington Vermont.  Whilst I had a reasonably good tournament and managed to get selected through to the semi-final stage, I was disappointed with myself for not being in better shape and preparing myself better for the tournament.  It made me realise that I really wanted to be selected for the Sochi Olympics and I needed to start believing in myself as Dad wasn’t around to do the believing part for me!

I sat down at the end of the tournament for a frank and honest discussion with the supervisors.  They knew I had lost Dad and it had been a tough season but they helped me focus on needing to get back into shape.  My experience had got me through the tournament and could only get me so far – I needed to improve my fitness and my skating to be in with a chance for staying at the top level.

The hard work

I got back from the tournament with a renewed sense of motivation.  I wanted so badly to be selected for Sochi and knew I had a big task ahead of me.  I knew my fitness needed a lot of work and I had to really work on my skating.  This was pretty hard for me to hear as skating had always been a strength for me in the past and I had been self-taught so hearing it was becoming a weakness and it needed work was tough. 

I got in touch with a trainer I knew previously and he paired me up with a new trainer he had employed from Australia (Patrick).  He drew me up a programme and I started to see him 3 times a week at 6:30am.  On the other days I trained at 6:30am on my own following the instructions he game me.  He gave me a diet plan to follow and after a few months I saw some dramatic improvements.  I lost 15kg (33 pounds).

I spoke with Ice Hockey UK about improving my skating and they arranged for me to have a few sessions with a speed skating instructor (Paul).  The sessions were in Nottingham over the summer on a Friday night at 11pm and on a Saturday night at 10:30pm as that was the only time we could get ice.  So after work on a Friday I would drive up to Nottingham to skate in the evening.  Stay over-night in Nottingham for the Saturday evening session and come home on the Sunday ready for work and the 6:30am training sessions all week.

 

Pre-Olympic selection camp – Lake Placid August 2013

Following a strong performance at the world championships in Ottawa in April 2013 where I was given the Bronze medal game, I was invited to the Pre-Olympic selection camp in Lake Placid in August 2013 along with 9 other referees.  With 10 of us there and only 6 potential spots for referees for Sochi there was obviously a real sense of competition between us all.  The difficulty being that we all knew each other well. We are friends and have officiated at numerous World Championship tournaments together.  We were all working at an extremely high level and any one of us deserved to be selected for Sochi.

It was a really tough week – physically, mentally and emotionally.  Skating tests, fitness tests, rules tests, games to referee, not to mention dealing with heightened emotions and the need to compete against your friends.  We were all exhausted and drained by the end of the week.  Fortunately I flew straight from there to Las Vegas for a week with my girlfriends and my hen party which was just what the doctor ordered in terms of relaxation.

I was really pleased with my performance at the camp and knew I had given my best.  The supervisors had one-on-one sessions with each of us at the end of the week and they told me I had won a place in their hearts if nothing else.  I had listened to their feedback 2 years previous and shown them that I had the belief and drive to pick myself up, work hard and come back to performing at a high level.

I didn’t know if I was going to be selected or not, but I did know that I had given everything I had and so if I wasn’t selected then I couldn’t be disappointed with myself.  It would simply be that there was someone who was better.

The rest is history ... I got an email on 1^st December 2013 from Ice Hockey UK telling me I had been selected to officiate at my third Olympic games.  I felt relieved and excited.  Relieved that all the hard work had paid off and excited that it was really happening.

I did have a sad moment that Dad wasn’t here to see it.  People always say it is ok, he knows and he is watching down on us all.  I am not sure what I believe about that and whether that makes me feel better or not.  But I do know there are a whole lot of people who are here to see me go and who have believed in me and supported me.

Thank you

This blog is for everyone who has supported and believed in me over the last few years.  I intend to enjoy and cherish every moment I have in Sochi and to share it with the people who have helped me get there.  Thank you for believing in me when I didn’t believe in myself and know that I do now believe in myself and will be giving it 110%.

The last few years have taught me that if you work hard enough and you really want something you can make it happen.  I now believe I deserve to be there and need to show the world that the UK does know a thing or two about ice hockey!