With
a little over a week to go before I fly out I am starting to reflect on the
journey I’ve been on over the last few years.
Being selected to officiate at my third Olympics is a huge honour and a
real dream come true, but it hasn’t been an easy few years and perhaps that is
why it means so much to me to have been selected.
My
friends and people who find out I am going to Sochi ask me if I am excited and
if I am nervous. The answer is yes to
both and the reality is that despite this being my third Olympics I am probably
more nervous and more excited than before.
Torino 2006
In
2006 I was relatively new to international officiating and extremely young to
be selected for an Olympics. There were
no expectations for me and I was there for the ride and the experience. I went along, refereed the games and was
almost too young to fully appreciate the significance of what I was doing. I officiated the historic semi-final between
Sweden and USA which saw Sweden progress to the final with the USA left to compete
for the bronze medal. The only time in
women’s hockey history that USA have not been in a final. I ended up refereeing the bronze medal game
which I knew was a huge achievement for my first Olympics but maybe I still
didn’t believe I had actually done it or that I deserved to be there.
Vancouver 2010
Losing Dad
The
real constant for me throughout my Olympic experiences had been the support,
belief and encouragement from my Dad. In
2011 as most people know Dad suddenly and unexpectedly passed away. This obviously had a huge effect on me and
for a long time I wasn’t sure I wanted to officiate or be involved in hockey
anymore without him. It is a tough job
and you can never please everyone. I’d
always talk to my Dad about my games. We
would talk through difficult situations and analyse what the right call was. Throughout everything he always believed in
me and until I lost him I didn’t realise that I probably didn’t really believe
in myself as much as I should have done and I needed him to keep me going.
I
tried to get back onto the ice as soon as the season started but fate stepped
in and I took a puck to the ear which meant I had to have surgery and take 8
weeks off the ice. Emotionally I
probably wasn’t ready to be back refereeing so soon after losing Dad and so the
time away did me good but I also lost all motivation to train at the gym and
eat well.
2012 Women’s World Championships
In
April 2012 I went to the Women’s World Championships in Burlington Vermont. Whilst I had a reasonably good tournament and
managed to get selected through to the semi-final stage, I was disappointed
with myself for not being in better shape and preparing myself better for the
tournament. It made me realise that I
really wanted to be selected for the Sochi Olympics and I needed to start
believing in myself as Dad wasn’t around to do the believing part for me!
I
sat down at the end of the tournament for a frank and honest discussion with
the supervisors. They knew I had lost
Dad and it had been a tough season but they helped me focus on needing to get
back into shape. My experience had got
me through the tournament and could only get me so far – I needed to improve my
fitness and my skating to be in with a chance for staying at the top level.
The hard work
I
got back from the tournament with a renewed sense of motivation. I wanted so badly to be selected for Sochi
and knew I had a big task ahead of me. I
knew my fitness needed a lot of work and I had to really work on my
skating. This was pretty hard for me to
hear as skating had always been a strength for me in the past and I had been
self-taught so hearing it was becoming a weakness and it needed work was tough.
I
got in touch with a trainer I knew previously and he paired me up with a new
trainer he had employed from Australia (Patrick). He drew me up a programme and I started to
see him 3 times a week at 6:30am. On the
other days I trained at 6:30am on my own following the instructions he game me. He gave me a diet plan to follow and after a
few months I saw some dramatic improvements.
I lost 15kg (33 pounds).
I
spoke with Ice Hockey UK about improving my skating and they arranged for me to
have a few sessions with a speed skating instructor (Paul). The sessions were in Nottingham over the
summer on a Friday night at 11pm and on a Saturday night at 10:30pm as that was
the only time we could get ice. So after
work on a Friday I would drive up to Nottingham to skate in the evening. Stay over-night in Nottingham for the
Saturday evening session and come home on the Sunday ready for work and the
6:30am training sessions all week.
Pre-Olympic selection camp – Lake Placid August 2013
Following
a strong performance at the world championships in Ottawa in April 2013 where I
was given the Bronze medal game, I was invited to the Pre-Olympic selection
camp in Lake Placid in August 2013 along with 9 other referees. With 10 of us there and only 6 potential
spots for referees for Sochi there was obviously a real sense of competition
between us all. The difficulty being
that we all knew each other well. We are friends and have officiated at
numerous World Championship tournaments together. We were all working at an extremely high
level and any one of us deserved to be selected for Sochi.
It
was a really tough week – physically, mentally and emotionally. Skating tests, fitness tests, rules tests,
games to referee, not to mention dealing with heightened emotions and the need
to compete against your friends. We were
all exhausted and drained by the end of the week. Fortunately I flew straight from there to Las
Vegas for a week with my girlfriends and my hen party which was just what the
doctor ordered in terms of relaxation.
I
was really pleased with my performance at the camp and knew I had given my best. The supervisors had one-on-one sessions with
each of us at the end of the week and they told me I had won a place in their
hearts if nothing else. I had listened
to their feedback 2 years previous and shown them that I had the belief and
drive to pick myself up, work hard and come back to performing at a high level.
I
didn’t know if I was going to be selected or not, but I did know that I had
given everything I had and so if I wasn’t selected then I couldn’t be
disappointed with myself. It would
simply be that there was someone who was better.
The
rest is history ... I got an email on 1st December 2013 from Ice
Hockey UK telling me I had been selected to officiate at my third Olympic
games. I felt relieved and excited. Relieved that all the hard work had paid off
and excited that it was really happening.
I
did have a sad moment that Dad wasn’t here to see it. People always say it is ok, he knows and he
is watching down on us all. I am not
sure what I believe about that and whether that makes me feel better or
not. But I do know there are a whole lot
of people who are here to see me go and who have believed in me and supported
me.
Thank you
This
blog is for everyone who has supported and believed in me over the last few
years. I intend to enjoy and cherish
every moment I have in Sochi and to share it with the people who have helped me
get there. Thank you for believing in me
when I didn’t believe in myself and know that I do now believe in myself and will
be giving it 110%.
The
last few years have taught me that if you work hard enough and you really want
something you can make it happen. I now
believe I deserve to be there and need to show the world that the UK does know
a thing or two about ice hockey!
